I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize