New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Help. Why am I so naked?
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