Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The adults are the big ones right?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
