He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
