Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
