I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
