wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I understand Curling. That high.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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