I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
