That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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