the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
