i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
