I need help removing her.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
