too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
