Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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