Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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