Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
