conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
