we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize