I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize