What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
