My Higher Power is John Stamos
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize