This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.