Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.