Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
