ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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