So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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