im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We are all done wearing pants today
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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