6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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