I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
where am i from again
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
