tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
