He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
