i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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