before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
