Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
