Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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