I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
