As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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