tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
