textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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