3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
