I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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