She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize