there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
