Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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