For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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