If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
