I accidentally had phone sex last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why do cheetos always look like penises
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
