Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't deserve a penis
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
