Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
