Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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