maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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