So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
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I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think your dad took our porno
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So here I am, sexting at work.
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