i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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