dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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