he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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