Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
