I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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