I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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