I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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