And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
