know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
