So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
