Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
