now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
